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U.N. ME (Episode 72)
Music traditional (Down by the Riverside). Lyrics by John P. McCann.

Yakko: U.N. me, we had a bag of fun
       Down by the East Riverside
       That United Nations there
       Drives away a fella's care
       183 countries meet
       Down by the East Riverside
       New York, off 42nd Street.
Wakko: See foreign states with a grudge
       Down by the East Riverside
       United Nations tries to fix
       Wars, famine, and oil slicks
       Boutros Boutros Ghali-gee
       Down by the East Riverside
       Leads the General Assembly.
Dot  : The gift shop will take traveler's checks
       Down by the East Riverside
       German tourists were not rare
       Buying T-shirts and flatware
       Ate pastry from Liberia
       Down by the East Riverside
       At the U.N. cafeteria.
YW+D : Took a tour with some Dutch
       Down by the East Riverside
       We had a guide from Japan
       Who had a decent pension plan
       Saw costly artwork from Brazil
       Down by the East Riverside
       On which my soda I did spill.
       U.N. me, we had a bag of fun
       Down by the East Riverside
       Saw flags on shiny poles
       From lands with lofty goals
       We'll beat our swords into liverwurst
       Down by the East Riverside
       But no one wants to be the first
YW+D : But then I guess it could be worse
Wakko: We could still sing one more verse
YW+D : U.N. me!
Transcribed by David Orozco

Lyrics from A HARD DAY'S WARNERS (Episode 73)
by Gordon Bressack and Charles Howell IV

Running From Our Fans (parody of A Hard Day's Night)
Music by Peter Hastings, arranged by Julie Bernstein.

YW+D : You can see that we're black and white
       And we are running from our fans
       Riding on invisible bikes
       And walking on our hands
       And everywhere that we go
       We get no peace, don't you know
       That's why we're running from our fans.
       In cartoons
       Everything's crazy and wild
       In cartoons
       We are corrupting your child!
       You see we're doing wacky gags
       While we are running from our fans
       We're hiding behind mags
       And we run inside garbage cans
       We always get this attention
       At a cartoon convention
       So we're running from our fans
       Yes, we're running from our fans!
They Want To Laugh (parody of Can't Buy Me Love)
Music by Peter Hastings, arranged by Julie Bernstein.
YW+D : They want to laugh, laugh
       They want to laugh, laugh
       They want to laugh, laugh, laugh!
Yakko: You say you're gonna make a feature film
       With animation really fine
Dot  : You say it's gonna be a preachy film
       With a heartfelt storyline
Yakko: Just make sure that it's good and funny
Wakko: 'Cause things ought to make you laugh!
YW+D : They want to laugh, laugh
       They want to laugh, laugh
       They want to laugh, laugh, laugh!

Music and lyrics by Peter Hastings

Parody of The Circle of Life from The Lion King)

Ahhh la wain-ya!
Ee-malla ee ya away!

Oom balla ee a walla ling goo
Ee oola coola yalla din doo
Oo day loo ee-a totta malla
I know eets joost a lota walla

Ever since we could think for ourselves
We've wondered what will happen to us
But it can't be foretold
What the future will hold
If you'll get rich
Or get hit by a bus.

The surprises in life
Keep us on our toes
Like a sock in the jaw
Like a punch in the nose
They keep us guessing
They mix it up
The surprises
The surprises in life.

(Yakko drops The Tiger Prince from Proud Slab)

Yakko: Ooh... I thought they were supposed to land on their feet.
Lyrics provided by the author

Music traditional (Mexican Hat Dance). Lyrics by Randy Rogel.
Script by Paul Rugg.

Announcer: And now, Yakko Warner sings all of the words in the
           English language!
Yakko: Aardvark, abating, abet, abdicating
       Abandon, abase and abreast
       Ablaze and ablution, abhor and abusion
       Abbreviate, abbey, abscessed.
       Abduct and ablation, abridge and abrasion
       Abash and abrupt and abride
       Abscond and absentia, absent, abstentia
       Abdomen, ably, abide.
       Abominable, abrogate, absolute, absent
       Absorbent, abstention, abstraction
       Absurd and abundant, abusive, abutment
       Acacia, academy, action.
       Accede and accost and accept and across
       And accompany, acre, accord
       Accomplish, account and accrue and amount
       Acrimonious, active, adored.
       Adrenaline, adulate, adder and advocate
       Advertise, adverse, abrade
       Advice, adversarial, advent and aerial
       Affluent, after, afraid.
Dot  : Well, there it is: Yakko Warner now well under way in singing
       all the words in the English language.  I'm Dot Warner.  With
       me is Dick Button.  Dick, a good start?
Dick : Oh, yes, Dot -- a marvelous start to what is a difficult,
       difficult routine.
Dot  : Stay tuned, and we'll be back to bring you the whole thing.
Yakko: Level and levity, lewd and longevity
       Libel, libation, Lanai
       Lithium, litigate, legal, legitimate
       Liberty, levy and lie.
Dot  : Welcome back.  Yakko's now at the L's as he tries to sing all
       the words in the English language.  A slight mistake at the
       F's -- here's what it looked like:
Yakko: Facial and faction and fractal and fraction
       And fraudulent, fragrant, frappé
       Frankincense, frankish and frakisish, frashhh...
       Shoot! Yadda yadda flambé!
Dick : Now, that mistake could have proved costly for Yakko, but he
       recovered beautifully.
Dot  : Now let's watch as Yakko continues with the L's.
Yakko: Libation and libertine, limited, limousine
       Limpid and limbo and lime
       Lima and lipid and literature, liquid
       And listing and liter and line.
       There's lobby and loading and loathsome and loaning
       And logo and then locomotion
       There's lotus and lottery, lobo, lobotomy
       Logic and loosen and lotion.
       Lozenge and lubber and lucky and lover
       And lullaby, lumber and luke
       Luster and luscious and lunatic, lustrous
       And lurking and lunar and lute.
Dot  : Yakko's now about halfway through all the words in the English
       language.  Dick Button and I will be back with more.
Yakko: Zachary, Zanzibar, zappy and zamindar
       Zillion and ZIP code and Zen
       Zany and zoning and zeal and zirconium
       Zodiac, zombie, ze-in.
Dot  : Yakko Warner, now moments away from having sung all the words
       in the English language.  Dick Button, is he going to make it?
Dick : If it was anyone else, I'd say no, but he's young; he's
       resilient... We'll just have to see.
Yakko: Zigging and zagging and zealous and zebra
       And zenith and zap and zaffer
       Zeppelin and zipper and zephyr and zither
       Then zinc and zombini
       And zoo and zucchini
       And Zulu and Zorro
       Then zit and zamoro
       And zero and zoom and... ugh!
Dot  : Guess not!
Yakko: Wait!
Dot  : He did it!  Yakko Warner has just sung all the words in the
       English language!
Dick : Hey, congratulations, Yakko.
Yakko: Thanks, Dick.
Dick : Join us next time, when Yakko Warner will sing all of the
       numbers above zero.  Goodnight!

THE KID IN THE LID (Episode 74)
Musical score by Steve Bernstein.
Words by Paul Rugg and Tom Ruegger.

Boy  : It was hotter than blazes
       About a hundred and ten
       So we stayed in the house
       In the air conditionin'.
       We just hung around
       My sister and me
       And watched countless hours
       Of daytime TV.
       Too hot to go out
       We'd melt in the sun
       So we stared at the tube
       Which isn't much fun.
       All we could do was watch, watch
       Watch, watch
       'Til I spilled lots of soda
       All over my crotch.
       Then we heard a kaboom
       That kaboom shook the room
       We turned
       And into our house something slid.
       A strange-looking fellow
       The Kid in the Lid
       And he said to us
Yakko: "Oops. Now look what I did.
       "Now, we all know it's hot
       And you don't have a pool
       But there are lots of fun things
       We can do that are cool.
       "The first silly thing we can do..."
Boy  : Said the kid
Yakko: "...is play with some glue!"
Boy  : Said the kid in the lid.
Yakko: "Lots of wet glue
       We'll make a big mess
       We'll glue things together
       Your parents will stress."
Boy  : But our parents were out
       They were gone for a week
       To be truthful
       They'd been gone for a 90-day streak.
       The last that we heard
       They were in the Bahamas
       Leaving us here
       To face childhood traumas.
       As for playing with glue
       My sis said
Girl :             "Let's do it!"
Boy  : "Kids need to have fun"
       I shouted, "Let's glue it!"
       But our pet woodchuck said
CWood: "No, that kid has to leave
       Open the door
       And give him the heave.
       "He doesn't seem normal
       He doesn't seem well
       Besides that, his pants
       Have a real funny smell."
Yakko: "Hey, woodchuck, calm down
       Just relax"
Boy  :             said the kid
Yakko: "It's you who smells bad"
Boy  : Said the kid in the lid.
Yakko: "I bet you've not washed
       In at least seven months
       So I strongly suggest
       That we bathe you at once.
       "In the tub..."
Boy  :                 said the kid
Yakko: "...goes the smelly woodchuck
       Use lots of shampoo
       To cut through all the muck."
CWood: "No, stop!"
Boy  :             yelled our woodchuck
CWood: "Get me out of this tub!"
Boy  : As the water got deeper
       The woodchuck went
CWood:                    "Blub!"
Yakko: "It's OK"
Boy  :           said the kid
Yakko: "I won't let you drown
       I'll pull on this chain
       So the water goes down.
       "And the woodchuck goes too
       And he goes down the drain
       And comes out the potty
       In considerable pain."
Boy  : Then the toilet exploded
       A messy disaster
       The water rose up
       And wrecked all the plaster.
       It surged down the hallway
       And flooded the den
       It filled up the kitchen
       And bedrooms and then...
       It splashed out the door
       And into the street
       Where it provided relief
       From the afternoon heat.
       Kids came from all over
       To splash in the lake
       Not knowing the source
       Was our potty break.
Girl : "They're swimming in water
       Straight out of our toilet!"
Boy  : "Think we should tell 'em?"
Yakko: "Nah! That'd just spoil it!"
CWood: "Ooh! You're going to get it!"
Boy  : Said our woodchuck, upset
CWood: "You ruined our house
       And got everything wet!
       "I think you're insane
       You're rude and you're naughty
       To make matters worse
       I'm stuck in this potty!"
Yakko: "Perhaps you should nap
       You need sleep"
Boy  :                 said the kid
       Then all of us watched
       As that kid closed the lid.
       Then he went running off
       And in less than an hour
       The kid had come back
       With a small water tower.
Yakko: "I've returned"
Boy  :                 said the kid
Yakko: "I've returned with this tower
       It would have been sooner
       But I needed a shower."
Boy  : He opened the top
       And shouted
Yakko:             "Let's play!"
Boy  : Then out sprang two kids
       Who responded
W+D  :               "OK!"
Yakko: "These two are my sibs
       They're fun; wait and see
       May I proudly present
       Kid Two and Kid Three?"
Boy  : They gave us a kiss
       Then said
W+D  :           "Helloooo, nurse!"
Boy  : "The first kid was trouble
       But these two seem worse!"
       "Hi! How're you doing?
       That's Mary; I'm Scooter"
       Kid Two looked at Mary
       Then whispered
Dot  :                "I'm cuter."
Boy  : Then they ran all around
       Doing impossible feats
       Acting like kids
       Who've had too many sweets.
       Kid Three said
Wakko:                "I'm hungry"
Boy  : His eyes started twitchin'
       He shot out the room
       And ran into the kitchen.
       He opened the cupboards
       And then started chewing
       On cans of tomatoes
       And carrots for stewing.
       He gulped down the flour
       Some dry macaroni
       Three bottles of ketchup
       And then Rice-A-Roni!
Dot  : "The San Francisco Treat!"
Boy  : He ate all the dishes
       But didn't stop there
       He swallowed the sink
       Then our new Frigidare.
Wakko: "Ahh! Hey, that was delicious
       Thanks for the snacks
       I'm hypoglycaemic
       I get munchie attacks."
Boy  : Then we heard a loud blast
       And ran out the door
       Those three crazy kids
       Were now playing war!
Girl : "Oh no! You must stop this!"
Boy  : Said Sis to Kid Two
Girl : "It's this sort of playing
       You just must not do!"
Dot  : "I'm sorry; we can't
       It's too late; we've begun
       We always play war
       Until somebody's won."
Boy  : Then the walls started cracking
       And the ceiling gave in
       We ran out the door
       As the whole house caved in.
       Then, oh! what bad timing
       For, right then and there
       Our parents returned
       So we said a quick prayer.
B+G  : "Don't let them be angry"
Boy  : We said it again
B+G  : "Don't let them be angry
       Oh, please, please! Amen."
Boy  : Our parents were dazed
       They stood there dumbfounded
       As they looked at the damage
       We knew we'd be grounded.
Yakko: "Well, that was some fun
       But enough for one day
       Give us a call
       And we'll come back to play."
(YW+D leave for a moment and kids begin to cry.)
Wakko: "Ha ha ha! We got ya!"
Dot  : "Yeah. We were just kiddin'."
Yakko: "We'll rebuild your house
       And then paint it with Glidden."
Dot  : "The San Francisco Treat!"
Boy  : And that's what they did
       And in less than a jiffy
       The house was rebuilt
       And it looked really spiffy.
       That night, we ate well
       It had been quite a day
       But now life was happy
       It was all A-OK.
CWood: "Hello? Hello???
       Anyone? Anybody?
       Can anyone hear me?
       I'm still in the potty!"

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