Lyrics from MOBY OR NOT MOBY (Episode 28)
by John P. McCann.
Captain Ahab, You're a Dummy
(Sung to What Do You Do with a Drunken Sailor?)
YW+D: Captain Ahab, you're a dummy
Killing whales is really crummy
Get a clue and don't be scummy
Early in the morning.
Ahab: No more singing; man the harpoon
Moby Dick is mine; it's high noon
Spear him now; on with the cartoon
Early in the morning.
Y+W : Stop your whaling; stop your moaning
Pun intended; stop that groaning
Don't kill whales, and start atoning
Early in the morning.
YW+D: Watch Star Trek IV or ask your teachers
Whales are kind and lovely creatures
They've got eyes and facial features
Killing whales is stupid.
Transcribed by Raymond Hom
Lyrics from PHRANKEN-RUNT (Episode 29)
by John P. McCann
Let's Try For Two
Rita: (spoken) I hate being wet.
Runt: Yep, it's wet. It's definitely wet out here.
Uh, I'm sorry I got us kicked out of that count guy's home.
Rita: What was it with that bat fetish anyway?
Runt: Don't know, but he hates Italian food; definitely hates garlic.
Rita: If we find another house, just follow my lead:
Rita: Let's try for two
What's the sense of stopping now?
Just me and you
We're the pros with the know-how
To get kicked out of every place
We've ever set a paw.
We're not through
Let's try for two.
You Gotta Use Your Brain
Rita: Home ahoy!
Told ya, boy!
Follow my lead
Watch my ploy
Runt
You gotta use your brain and think.
Runt: Let's get fed!
Rita: Give it a whirl.
Runt: Hurts my head!
Rita: Oh, Runt, you gotta use your brain.
DrPh: Hot dog, check it out
Santa sent me brains for Scout
Come and stay with Aunty Glory
Forever in my laboratory.
Rita: Watch my stuff.
Runt: Let's begin!
Rita: Don't you bark or
Runt: Track mud in?
Rita: Hey, Runt, you just used your brain.
Runt: Definit-- Definit-- Who me?
Rita: You just used your brain.
---
I'm a Hands-On Kinda Girl
Runt: (spoken) What a nice human. She tied me to a little bed so
I won't fall off when I take my nap. Sure wish Rita was here,
definitely, definitely do.
DrPh: Standing in the lab watching dials twirl
You're lying on the slab; let me give it a whirl
Let me open a valve; I'm a hands-on kinda girl.
Soon you'll be better and raring to go
I'll rule the world from here to Kokomo
Call me insane; I'm a hands-on kinda dame.
Your cerebellum's great for my morale
'Cause I'll be taking over right from this locale
Thanks a bunch, pal; I'm a hands-on kinda gal.
Cha-cha-cha.
---
Let's Try For Three
Rita: (spoken) Getting bounced from two homes in one night is
a new record for us.
Rita: Let's try for three
What the sense of stopping now?
Just you and me
We're the pros with the know-how
To get kicked out of every place
We've ever set a paw
Life's rent-free
Let's try for three!
Runt: (spoken) Good idea, Rita; let's try for three.
Rita: Dogs. Go fig.
Transcribed by Michael Russell, Ron O'Dell, J.J. Nicholson and Andy Diaz
Lyrics from HOT, BOTHERED AND BEDEVILED (Episode 30)
Music by Julie Bernstein.
Lyrics by John P. McCann.
You're in Hades Now
Chorus girls: You plunge into the fire and it's really hot You have to stay forever whether you like it or not Where the torment never ends You've got fiery brimstone and demons for friends You're in Hades now, for eternity Hope you're not too choosy 'bout your company! ---I Hate the Government
Protest singer: Oh, I hate the government More than you hate me The government stole my goldfish And unplugged my TV. ---Purgatory, Here We Come (parody of California, Here I Come)
YW+D : Purgatory, here we come
So long hate and devil scum
Yakko : Where fires will spire into the night
W+D : Where boulders will smolder...
YW+D : ...sizzling bright
Yakko : The afterlife's cruel politics
Charon: Sends us on the river Styx
Yakko : At our feet flames take their licks
YWD+C : Oh, Purgatory, here we come!
Transcribed by Raymond Hom and Ron O'Dell
Lyrics from MOON OVER MINERVA (Episode 30)
by Nicholas Hollander
Wilford: Be my love
My turtle dove
The pretty little mink
I'm dreaming of.
(Girls have an innate weakness for musicians!)
My one and only sweetie pie...
(SPLASH!)
Minerva: (spoken) Hit the road, Jack!
Wilford: Ain't she neat?
Transcribed by Ron O'Dell
Lyrics from SKULLHEAD BONEYHANDS (Episode 30)
Originally from Tiny Toon Adventures.
YW+D: It's the Mr Skullhead Show
Starring him: Mr Skullhead
'Cause it's his show that he has
Mr Skullhead!
---
YW+D: That's the Mr Skullhead show
Starring him: Mr Skullhead
And it's the end of the show that he has
Mr Skullhead!
Transcribed by Ron O'Dell
Lyrics from O SILLY MIO (Episode 31)
by Randy Rogel and Paul Rugg
Sung to the Toreador Song from Carmen by Georges Bizet.
Yakko: Darling, I love you
With all my heart and soul
Unfortunately
You're too heavy to hold.
You
And I will live in splendid bliss
Now give me a big kiss!
Mwah!
Transcribed by Ron O'Dell
Lyrics from PUTTIN' ON THE BLITZ (Episode 31)
Music and lyrics by Nicholas Hollander
Rita: Just look into my eyes
Tell me what you see
This looks more like Van Nuys
Than Burbank to me.
Just listen to the call
Oh and ain't it sweet
No matter how we fall
We land on our feet.
Oh you and I, we're like a masquerader
Who travels incognito with a friend
No matter where you go, you'll see me later
I know we'll be together in the end.
---
Rita: Don't leave it up to fate
For the odds are slim
Don't gamble with your life
You can never win.
We'll see her to the train
Then we'll leave Warsaw
After the child
Is reconciled
With her papa.
---
Rita: You know, I should have my head examined
The fact is, I could not go without you
I'm fond of your slow wit and your bad hairdo
We'll always be together, me and you.
Transcribed by Raymond Hom, Ron O'Dell and C. David Tallman
THE PLANETS (Episode 32)
Music arranged by Richard Stone.
Lyrics by Paul Rugg.
Yakko: The closest to the Sun
Is the planet Mercury
Next the shrouded planet Venus
Is as cloudy as can be.
The Earth is next; we call it home
Let's hope it stays that way
And then there's Mars; it's really red
What more can I say?
The gassy planet Jupiter's
As big as planets come
Then there's Saturn with its mighty
Rings made up of tiny crumbs.
We travel on to Neptune
That's a gassy, freezing ball
And cold and tiny Pluto
It's the furthest one of all.
Yakko: (spoken) Well, there you go. That's our solar system.
Wakko: You forgot Uranus.
Yakko: Goodnight, everybody.
Lyrics from CLOWN AND OUT (Episode 34)
Music by Julie Bernstein.
Lyrics by Nicholas Hollander and Paul Rugg.
You'll Never Laugh Alone (parody of You'll Never Walk Alone)
Clown: When you want to scream
Put away that frown
And never be scared of a clown
Laugh on
Laugh on
Laugh on and on and on
You'll never laugh alone!
---
Nice and Chubby Baby
Clown: When the whippoorwill
Whippoors in the wind
The wind can't whippoor back
Oh nice and chubby baby!
Transcribed by Ron O'Dell and "The Corinthian"
Lyrics from BUBBA BO BOB BRAIN (Episode 34 / P4b)
Music by Julie Bernstein.
Lyrics by Sherri Stoner.
For lyrics from readalong album version
see the entry in the videos and albums section.
Empty Hollow Head (parody of Achy Breaky Heart)
Willie Ray Cyprus: Don't tell my head My empty hollow head You know I wouldn't understand... ---Telephone Repairman (parody of Wichita Lineman)
Glenn Campbell caricature: I am a telephone repairman From this area... ---King of the World
Brain: I am a lab mouse I escaped from my cage Never had a job Never earned minimum wage But you will respect me -- YES! Once my plan is unfurled You will call me your leader I'll be King Of The World. ---Parody of The Gambler
Kenny Rogers caricature: You gotta know how to cut 'em Know how to shuffle Know how to deal the cards Before you play Fish with me.Transcribed by Steve Kramer and Ron O'Dell