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THE STEVEN SPIELBERG SHOW (Episode 14)
Parody of The Beany & Cecil Show

Singers: Sleeping, creeping
         Leaping down the street
         Freakazoid's the humanoid
         Who simply can't be beat.

         Hey, he'll fight day and night
         To defeat a fiendish foe
         So let's freak in as we begin
Freak  : The Steven Spielberg Show!

(lick! lick!)

Steff  : (giggle) Ah, Freak...


Lyrics from DEXTER'S DATE (Episode 14)

Bonjour, Lobey (Parody of Hello, Dolly)

Waiters: Bonjour, Lobey
         Oui! Bonjour, Lobey
         We're so pleased that you've come back, we have to scream.

(AAAUGH!)

         We see your veins, Lobey
         And your brains, Lobey
         Undulating, calculating, formu...lating schemes.

         Let's throw a big party
         For our big smartie
         We're just pleased as punch to see your big fat head.

         Oh...

Lobe   : Wow, wow wow, waiters
         Lobey wants a bowl of chow, waiters
         Don't forget a big old plate of bread.

         As a criminal, I shouldn't show my face
         So years in seclusion I've spent
         But now I realize, it's OK to show my face
         If anyone squeals, I'll entomb them in cement!
Waiters: In thick cement!

         Bonjour...
         Oui! Bonjour!
         ...Lobey
         Oh, bonjour...
         Gosh! Bonjour!
         ...Lobey
Lobe   : Lobey's back and feeling higher than a kite.

         Oh...

         Give me food, waiters
         Baked, fried, broiled or stewed, waiters
         Lobey's got a hearty appetite.

(Freakazoid freaks into Louis Armstrong)

Freak  : Oh! Hey, bonjour, Lobey
         How ya doin'...
Lobe   : Just fine!
Freak  : ...Lobey?
         I'm so pleased that you've come back, I have to scream.
Lobe   : Well, go ahead.

Freak  : Aaaaugh I see your veins...
Lobe   : They're all mine!
Freak  : ...Lobey
         And your brains...
Lobe   : Aren't they something?
Freak  : ...Lobey
         Undulating, calculating, formu...
F&L    : ...hmm...lating schemes.

Freak  : Let's throw a big...
Lobe   : Yabba doo
Freak  : ...party
         For this big...
Lobe   : Zabba doo
Freak  : ...smartie
         I'm just pleased as punch to see your big fat head.
Lobe   : See how big it is!

Freak  : Oh...
Lobe   : It's a big fat head!

Freak  : Give him food, waiters
         Baked, fried, broiled or stewed...
F&L    : Yeah!
         Don't forget a big old plate of bread!

Waiters: Oh! Hey, bonjour, Lobey
         Oui! Bonjour, Lobey
         We're so pleased that you've come back, we have to scream.

(AAAUGH!)

         We see your veins, Lobey
Lobe   : Whee!
Waiters: And your brains, Lobey
Lobe   : Whee!
Waiters: Undulating, calculating, formu...lating schemes.

         Just smell the food...
Lobe   : I smell it!
Waiters: ...baking
         And the salt...
Lobe   : I see it!
Waiters: ...shaking
         Lobey's back and feeling higher than a kite.

         Oh...

Lobe   : Give me food, waiters
         Baked, fried, broiled or stewed, waiters
Ws&L   : Lobey's got a hearty app--
         Lobey's got a hearty app--
         Lobey's got a hearty appetite!


Lyrics from THE FREAKAZOID (Episode 15)
by Paul Rugg

You're a Meany, Nasty Lobe (Parody of You're a Mean One, Mister Grinch from How the Grinch Stole Christmas)

Singer: You're a meany
        Nasty Lobe
        You're as bad as villains get.
        Your head is really mushy
        'Cause you haven't got a skull
        Nasty Lo-obe.
        Why, I wouldn't sit next to you on an airplane if...
        If there was a seat next to you on an airplane.

        Such a bad guy
        Nasty Lobe
        You're as cruel as cruel can be.
        You're vicious; you're malicious
(interruption by announcer deleted)
        You're despicable and more
        Nasty Lo-obe.
        If you invited me to go to the movies with you, I...
        Probably wouldn't go.

---
When You Cannot Show Your Face (Parody of ?)
Singer: Freakazoid, you wander
        A teen without a home
        Everywhere, they hate you
        You've been cast out; you're alone.
        Your deeds have been forgotten
        The world's a cold, cruel place
        It's tough to go on living
        When you cannot show your face.

        We'll be ri-ight back.

Lyrics from HERO BOY (Episode 19)

Crunch Goes the Weenie (Sung to Pop Goes the Weasel)

Guitierrez: All around the mulberry bush
            Guitierrez chased the weenie
            The weenie thought 'twas all in fun
            Crunch goes the weenie!

---
Gasigo
Attendants : If you want service with a smile
             We will go that extra mile
Attendant 2: We clean windows
Attendant 3: Fill the tank
Attendant 4: Wax the hood
Attendant 5: No need to thank.
Attendants : Gasigo; we're at your service
             Gasigo; that is our purpose

(cut away for scene with Guitierrez)

Attendants : Gasigo; we love your car
             Gasigo; we're never far
Freakazoid : Hey! I really gotta go!
Attendant 2: But, we... y'know, we... we haven't finished our song...
(wipe to Freakmobile driving away...)
Attendants : Gasigo; we're here to please you
             Gasigo; we'll never leave you
             G-A-S, I-G-O
             Gasigo
             So put us to the test
             We will strive to do our best!

Lyrics from A MATTER OF LOVE (Episode 17)
by Lisa Malone and Paul Rugg

Singer: Welcome to the Storch Club! And now, ladies and
        gentlemen, let's mambo!

Singer: Move your footsies, shake your fanny
        Swing your hips, don't be a granny
        Come on, everybody, and mambo!
        Hey!
        Let the music move your butt
        Stick it out and do a strut
        That's the only way to mambo!
Chorus: Mambo!
        HUGGBEES!!!

---

Freak : Ten chubby angels
        With big fat wings
        Too heavy to fly
        They crash into things.

---

Chorus: Ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo
        Ooo, ooo, monster love!
Jimmy : If the woman who you're datin'
        Lights a candle with her nose
        And she tries to drain your liquids
        From your head down to your toes
        Gosh, I hate to tell ya, buddy
        Gosh, I hate to tell ya, pal
        But the woman who you're datin'
        Is a monster lady gal.
Chorus: Love can make you blind
        And love can cloud your head
        If you ever date a monster
Jimmy : Love can also make you...
J+C   :                          ...dead.
Jimmy : So heed these words, my friend
        And listen to my...
J+C   :                    ...song.
Jimmy : Don't ever date a...
J+C   :                     ...monster
Jimmy : If you want to live real...
J+C   :                            ...long.
Chorus: If you want to live real long.
        Bah bah bah bah!

Lyrics from TWO AGAINST FREAK (Episode 23)
by Ken Segall

Nasty Men (Parody of Bad Boys)

Nasty, nasty, nasty
Nasty men.
Real-Life Police we up
And caught you again.
You were nabbed by us
In a criminal raid.
Now go to jail and learn
A really nice trade.

Nasty men
Caught again
Stealing hens.
Nasty men!

---

Cave Guy: I've got a date with the Cobra Queen
          Her skin is green
          I think that's keen.

---
Hero Boy Theme
Hero Boy,
Hero Boy,
Hero Boy,
Oh, Hero Boy!
"I must succeed!"

Up in the sky he flies around,
When he's not, he's on the ground
And fighting monsters big,
And monster pigs,
He's Hero Boy; he must succeed!
"I must succeed!"

Lyrics from TOMB OF INVISIBO (Episode 20)
by Mitch Watson

Where Did He Go? (Parody of ?)

How do you find what you can't see
When an invisible guy goes on a crime spree?
He's gone.

Where did he go?
That Invisibo.
He's a power-hungry kook
With a scepter full of juice.
So tell me...
Where did he go?
That Invisibo.
Drinking up all the wattage
He's a nutcase on the loose.

So tell me...
Did he go back to his sandy tomb?
Or go visit friends in Saskatoon?

So tell me...
Where did he go?
That Invisibo.
He's a menace to the town and to property
He wants to be in charge of you and me
I guess.

How do you find what you can't see?
When an invisible guy goes on crime spree?
Invisibo!

---

Where did he go?
That Invisibo.
He went off to the poky
And that's the end of our show.
Bah bah bah bo!

CARTOON NETWORK PROMO

Super-brain extraordinaire
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!
Runs around in underwear
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!
He's a nerd computer ace
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!
He's here to aid the human race
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!

He's here on Cartoon Network
He's acting like a big jerk
There he goes in Barney's car
Freakazoid! Freakazoid!

He's here to save the nation
He's on a brand new station
Cartoon Network's got him now...
Freakazoid!!!
"Weeknights at 7 on Cartoon Network!"

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